Your Funeral: How to Plan Ahead
By Steve Diggs

In my dual capacities as a minister and a professional speaker who teaches throughout the nation on personal finance and life skill topics, I am asked plenty of funeral planning questions.  While most of us don’t like to talk about it, death is the natural conclusion of life.  Let me share a few pointers that you might find helpful.

Of course, it’s probably best to avoid funeral homes with catchy phrases like: “We’ll be the last to let you down,” or “You kill ‘em—we’ll chill ‘em,” or the ever popular, “You hack ‘em and we’ll pack ‘em.”  But, I digress.  To be serious, there are some important considerations that you may want to discuss with your spouse and family.

First, think about your own family.  Are they the sort who would appreciate a little coaching from you?  If so, make a list of your favorite songs, Scriptures, and poems. Consider including the names of possible pallbearers and a favored minister.  But, avoid being overly exacting as too much input can become a real burden.  Write your suggestions as “possible ideas to consider,” rather than requests.  This way, if the preferred minister is out of town or one of your would-be pallbearers is on a hunting trip—no one gets overly stressed.  As a side point, be sure to put these directions in the hands of several family members so they will be handy when the need arises.  Do not put burial instructions in a safe deposit box at the bank that may remain unopened until your estate is probated.  

Also, be aware that this is the best opportunity you will have to protect your family from pushy a pushy funeral director who makes his commission based on the size of your grave marker and the construction of your coffin.  Consider asking your family to keep it simple and not overly expensive.  This sort of written directive from you can relieve a lot of guilt-driven spending when you die.

If you’re really the hands on type (which I recommend) do some research yourself.  Check your state’s legal regulations for what is, and is not, required.  It’s probably best not to get this information from the mortuary director who hopes to sell you the funeral package.  The Funeral Consumers Alliance has a website you may find helpful at www.funerals.org.

Additionally, do some early shopping.  Granted, funeral homes don’t have lay-away plans like K-Mart, but you can save serious money by price comparing early.  Talk to at least two or three funeral homes and cemeteries. Sometimes you can save money by purchasing your plot early.  Recently Bonnie and I bought our plots from an area cemetery for much less than their list prices because they were reselling some plots for people who had bought them but since moved away.

This is not to say that I’m a fan of pre-paid funeral packages.  Often these contracts are confusing at best.  And, there may be lost earnings on the money.  But if you do decide to advance pay, read the fine print and get all the details first.  For instance, what if you move and select a different mortuary?